relationship with myself

I wouldn't say that I am scared, or unerved by them, but relationships are getting more difficult to understand as each day goes by.
Why do we get ourselves into them? My parents live a very happy and healthy marriage, yet they piss each other off, they bother each other all the time, and they disappoint each other. Now, my thought here is, I already have plenty of people n my life who bother me, and disappoint me, why do I need another person who means alot more to me doing all these same things. Becuase now, its a higher scale of pain or disaapointment and let down. I dont know why people do it. And when these moments happen in marriages or relationships, wshy cant we just say the thing that our partner needs to hear? What gets in the way. If they need to believe in Santa CLause for a minute, let them. Dont burst their bubble immediatly with reminders of the harsh reality of the world. And if you are trying to protect them, give them more credit, THey know the world sucks, they just want a minute or two to pretend it doesnt. Why is it our loved ones are the ones that always drag us back to reality?

I dont need someone to fight with, or someone to let me down. And I am beginning to realize that even in the best relationships, it happens. So I think I'm better off leaving that plate untouched at the moment and relying on myself. Afterall, each person in these relationships would turn inevitably to themselves when their partner pised them off or disappointed them. ANd in my mind, to have a partner is to have found someone for you to turn to and can depend on right? SO I guess, if the purpose of the relationship is to have someone there for you, and they're not... whats all of it for? Whats the point? marriage doesnt look all that glamorous when you can't even tell the other person that you love them despite how you are both acting.

Yes, I know my expectations are high- my standards are quite elite-. I will not find a man who will never dissapoint me. I will never find a man who wont let me down. And there isnt a relationship in the world that exists without fights, but to tell you the truth, I can't bring myself to lower the bar. I may end up alone, but I just cant do it.

So I guess I better start treating myself damn well, becuase I have some high standards to meet for myself. And you know what - ? I am so worth it.