A picture of a human kite. Just thought it was worth seeing.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
growing on
i am not normal. i am not pretty. i am not smart. i am not kind. i do not care.
this was the beginning of an entry of a friend's blog. and although we do not know each others deepest secrets, nor have we spent hours on the phone together, I'd like to say we know each other quite well. So what struck me, was what was on the page, and what she was actually saying, and the regret that I was not there to have the conversation with her and the computer. Sure, to an extent, she is not stereotypically normal, pretty, smart, kind, nor does she care. But, despite all of her arguments against what I am going to say, she is more these things then she knows. I find, on the contrary, that she is quintessentially normal, the epitome of beauty and smarts, unconditionally kind, and more caring than most humanitarians.
But thats not the point. And she knows that, somewhere inside, I know she knows that. The point is what she is REALLY saying. She is doing what the best of us have all done. Found some way to slap at mediocrity and scream out- I refuse to conform and assert our individuality through most any means available. To transform the way people think and to show them that they are fixating on immoment, trivial concerns that are going to be laughed at in a few years, or perhaps days time. To, in a single gesture, reallign the world's priorities and then be able to feel that even if the world doesn't know what's important, you do, and you can sleep easy now.
She goes about this by claiming to not be everything that everyone strives to be. I did that too. I didn't care, or at least about the things I was "supposed" to care about. And my idea of beauty was founded on un-earthly ideals. I said I wasn't what people tried to label me, just to let them know that I was untouchable by their standards. But then life happened...
it always does, ya know. You go through new experiences, learn new things, meet new people, meet new "you"s, and grow on. (I won't say grow up, there is too much immaturity implied with that word, but growing on never starts with immaturity and never ends in maturity, it never stops.) And I have learned something valuable through my recent "growing". That although this technique served me well in the past, it is not the way anymore. Making these statements and living lives that uphold them inorder to be true to yourself is in fact denying very human parts of yourself.
I am not normal. Well, despite how much I want to believe that my free spirited mind and creative edge can justify that line, it simply cannot. Every single person I have met in the world has had those characteristics as well, ( some more than others) but they all do. And define normal... well, no one is, which means we all are.
I am not pretty. Yet another comment out of your hands. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and as long as there is one person in the world who thinks you are attractive, you cannot justify that comment either. Also, compare Cosmopolitan's "beauty" with Michaelangelo's...whose standard are we looking for? Beauty is something that cannot be captured consistently from person to person and year to year.
I am not smart. Oh please! Do I need to say: that everyone has a skill that they do better than anyone else, and also that everyone has someone who can do it better than them.
I am not kind. Everyone has treated someone/something nicely at least once in life. Be it animals, people, collectibles, there is always something that brings out the nice part of you.
I do not care. Then why are you writing?
I can still accomplish what I set out to do then, as my friend does now. I can still shout in the world's face and try to shake them into seeing the futility in their efforts for pointless accomplishments and possessions. But you will find, as I did, that the best way to do that is to not put off all their labels and definitions and show that you are beyond them, but rather to share your humanity and embrace the parts of yourself that are normal, pretty, smart, kind and caring. Say that you are, part what they would like to make you and call you, but it comes with the territory of being a person, and there is nothing wrong, or unworthy about that. You are not pretty and smart because they say to be so, you are, because you are. And there will always be parts of you that remain pretty and smart. What's more important is that you accept that, and it does nothing but enhance the "true you" that is nothing secular or commonplace but, purely remarkable.
inetgrate every color, shade and hue that exists in nature, and paint the masterpeice that is life and living.
this was the beginning of an entry of a friend's blog. and although we do not know each others deepest secrets, nor have we spent hours on the phone together, I'd like to say we know each other quite well. So what struck me, was what was on the page, and what she was actually saying, and the regret that I was not there to have the conversation with her and the computer. Sure, to an extent, she is not stereotypically normal, pretty, smart, kind, nor does she care. But, despite all of her arguments against what I am going to say, she is more these things then she knows. I find, on the contrary, that she is quintessentially normal, the epitome of beauty and smarts, unconditionally kind, and more caring than most humanitarians.
But thats not the point. And she knows that, somewhere inside, I know she knows that. The point is what she is REALLY saying. She is doing what the best of us have all done. Found some way to slap at mediocrity and scream out- I refuse to conform and assert our individuality through most any means available. To transform the way people think and to show them that they are fixating on immoment, trivial concerns that are going to be laughed at in a few years, or perhaps days time. To, in a single gesture, reallign the world's priorities and then be able to feel that even if the world doesn't know what's important, you do, and you can sleep easy now.
She goes about this by claiming to not be everything that everyone strives to be. I did that too. I didn't care, or at least about the things I was "supposed" to care about. And my idea of beauty was founded on un-earthly ideals. I said I wasn't what people tried to label me, just to let them know that I was untouchable by their standards. But then life happened...
it always does, ya know. You go through new experiences, learn new things, meet new people, meet new "you"s, and grow on. (I won't say grow up, there is too much immaturity implied with that word, but growing on never starts with immaturity and never ends in maturity, it never stops.) And I have learned something valuable through my recent "growing". That although this technique served me well in the past, it is not the way anymore. Making these statements and living lives that uphold them inorder to be true to yourself is in fact denying very human parts of yourself.
I am not normal. Well, despite how much I want to believe that my free spirited mind and creative edge can justify that line, it simply cannot. Every single person I have met in the world has had those characteristics as well, ( some more than others) but they all do. And define normal... well, no one is, which means we all are.
I am not pretty. Yet another comment out of your hands. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and as long as there is one person in the world who thinks you are attractive, you cannot justify that comment either. Also, compare Cosmopolitan's "beauty" with Michaelangelo's...whose standard are we looking for? Beauty is something that cannot be captured consistently from person to person and year to year.
I am not smart. Oh please! Do I need to say: that everyone has a skill that they do better than anyone else, and also that everyone has someone who can do it better than them.
I am not kind. Everyone has treated someone/something nicely at least once in life. Be it animals, people, collectibles, there is always something that brings out the nice part of you.
I do not care. Then why are you writing?
I can still accomplish what I set out to do then, as my friend does now. I can still shout in the world's face and try to shake them into seeing the futility in their efforts for pointless accomplishments and possessions. But you will find, as I did, that the best way to do that is to not put off all their labels and definitions and show that you are beyond them, but rather to share your humanity and embrace the parts of yourself that are normal, pretty, smart, kind and caring. Say that you are, part what they would like to make you and call you, but it comes with the territory of being a person, and there is nothing wrong, or unworthy about that. You are not pretty and smart because they say to be so, you are, because you are. And there will always be parts of you that remain pretty and smart. What's more important is that you accept that, and it does nothing but enhance the "true you" that is nothing secular or commonplace but, purely remarkable.
inetgrate every color, shade and hue that exists in nature, and paint the masterpeice that is life and living.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
super sunny day
...well at least in comparison to the past week of cold misery. And I can't enjoy it. I can't enjoy the sun, because I have to sit in dark classrooms in basements, or without windows for hours. And then I have to sit in my room ( you remember, the one with the beautiful view of the dumpster) and stare at this screen for hours, and then when I want to get a decent burrito, I can't do that without plunging into the daylight free basement of towers. That's sad. There is nothing philosophical about it, or intriguing, and its not a comment on society, I just think its sad.
I also think that its sad when you spend so much time doing things for the next day and the next day, that you totally loose out on the chance to do something for this day. When the present day turns into nothing but an opportunity to accomplish something more for the next day.
And socks with holes in them. They are sad too. A perfectly good sock, probably with a kickin' pattern, totally shot, cause of one lil hole. The rest of the fabric is fine, but that one little gap where your random toe juts out manages to ruin the whole thing.
these colors...they are the little random tears, or holes that have punched themselves through the canvas. The part in the corner where someone's coat got stuck and ripped at the edge. They are not colors, but rather, the unplanned, unwelcomed, absense of color.
I also think that its sad when you spend so much time doing things for the next day and the next day, that you totally loose out on the chance to do something for this day. When the present day turns into nothing but an opportunity to accomplish something more for the next day.
And socks with holes in them. They are sad too. A perfectly good sock, probably with a kickin' pattern, totally shot, cause of one lil hole. The rest of the fabric is fine, but that one little gap where your random toe juts out manages to ruin the whole thing.
these colors...they are the little random tears, or holes that have punched themselves through the canvas. The part in the corner where someone's coat got stuck and ripped at the edge. They are not colors, but rather, the unplanned, unwelcomed, absense of color.
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