irish

So there it is...

a pull where you never thoughtyou'd be pulled to
a thrill where you thought there was neutrality
a ache when you walk away that you cant rationalize away
and a sneaky smile when you least expect it during the day
with dependency that catches you off guard at night

I like someone
I actually, for the first time in my life, can say that I really do like someone

I have loved before, and that came so easily, it started with love
I am not scared of that L word, but this one is foreign to me
I like a person.
Like them more than a friend
Like to think of them during the day
Like when they are thinking of me
Like to see them smile
Like to remember how they smell
Smile and blush when they say the same about me

"It's foreign on this side, but it feels like I'm home again. There's no place to hide, but I dont think I'm scared."

"take her or leave her, she will still be the same
nothings the same, as you will see when she's gone.
you dream of colors that have never been made
only the curious have something to find
reasons few have vied to go back again
entrance is crucial and its not without pain
theres no path to follow but youre here
climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs"


But I was and everyonce in a while it creeps in again. that fear.
old fears, worn fears, that still hold their power. But put it in the light, talk about it, and tell him about it, and then it wont be so scary anymore...

he wont fall asleep while we are talking
he wont push the boundaries
he wont label us and expect
he wont stand me up

and he looks foward to walking me home until 6 in the morning

I knew there were diamonds in the rough, but I never thought I'd find a pearl...


now I just have to fight the impulse to rush to the finish line and enjoy the ride for once.
stop thinking about the end at the beginning
love it while I live it
and let that be enough

I've been told that I finally sound like I am alive again after over a year of sounding dead.

it's nice to join the living...


"its just a little bit hard letting them in
I hide in the spotlight its- a great disguise
I guess the rest is mine
the beauty and the mess..."

"its been a long time coming"

"I'm holding my heart out
but clutching it too
playing it raw with nerves left exposed"

"we get distracted by dreams of our own
but nobady's happy being alone

its hard not to wander away..."