I went through my past writings on my computer, and have decided to place a number of them on this blog. They are all varied emotions and reflections from different times. Feel free to read...
freeing self...
i made a note to wrtie about freeing myself...
in the moment I know what i was thinking about was grand, but now its faded...
ha! " I wish my muse didn't fade with fair weather praise..." truth
i need to free myself i have chained myself to pain and regret and isolation. i literally brought myself over and hour away from anyone who means anything to me... what did I do with this year? I give myself time to heal, or fix, and I dont do it. i hold onto the scabs and pick them open... never get the chance, or try to put some medicine on it and let it sit.
damn,,,
i am finally beginning to fall in love with myself and am damn disappoointed it isnt enough. me and God do a great job, but its still hard. i hate feeling melodramatic
its very clear that ben, tom and joey are not him. they are grand and great men, but not mine.
and meanwhile the one who wants nothing more than to be mine is 250 miles away.
and I'm 250 miles away from the one who threatens my life.
the desires of my heart are to make him something that he is not
he let me go
why cant i let me go
its not about freeing him or us
its now all about freeing me
all me
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